2 Conversations about talking "celebrity"

Here are two conversations that I had with two of our main actors on separate days this past week.

This first one occurred while I was in an elevator with said actor after having been outside on a day when it was about 77 degrees. Since it was cold the previous few days, we were all in heavier clothes, which obviously caused us all to be a little warm.

Me: (Stepping into the elevator) Wow, I am not looking forward to working on whatever job I’m working on when it’s July and it is 90 degrees out. That is not going to be too fun.

Actor #1: Oh yeah? You know what’s not going to be fun? It’s not going to be fun when I have to wear a ski parka in the heat.

Me: Are you working on another project after this that has skiing in it?

Actor #1: No, I mean when we film the chase scene in May, it is supposed to be winter in the film, so I’ll be wearing a ski parka and several layers. THAT is not going to be too fun (said with a smirk).

Me: Yeah, you have a real hard life. (I exit the elevator)

The second conversation occurred while we were on set at one of the studios in town with another one of our main actors. We were standing inside a fake living room as they were trying to rehearse Actor #1’s arrival through the door.

Actor #2: So is someone going to close this door? (Actor #2 is standing right next to the door)

(The outer door was closed, but the inner door was still open)

Me: Umm, I could close it. (I’m halfway across the room)

Actor #2: Well, whose department is it to close the door? I mean, we have a full crew here and they don’t look like they are doing much.

Me: (Shrug)

Actor #2: It’s just kind of ridiculous ya know?

Me: I could close the door.

Actor #2: Naah, I’ll just do it. (With a nice pouty demeanor, Actor #2 closes the door)

On another random note, my favorite actor (#3) of the production, and after what happened probably of all time personally, had his/her last day this past week. As a present Actor #3 gave myself and three other people that worked closely with him/her, 60 GB video iPod’s in appreciation. Needless to say I was blown away. I was speechless. I thanked him/her, gave him/her a hug and walked away with a smile.

Now, I would DEFINITELY close the door for Actor #3.

How to be...

Here is a list of things you need to know if you ever want to be come a GREAT Production Assistant:

1. Never question a request and/or command (you will never be right…ever).
2. Always hustle even if no one is looking.
3. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down (these truths are only known if you can escape the eyes of everyone on the crew).
4. If asked by a pedestrian what you are working on you can: A) say what it is truthfully, B) Lie and start naming names of people on the crew and act like they are up and coming stars, C) Tell them it is a new mayonnaise commercial, or D) Be extremely rude and act like you can’t hear what they are saying.
5. Keeping a “lock up” is one of the worst jobs a PA can have. Accept it. Be as nice as possible to people walking by, and never, EVER, lay a hand on a pedestrian no matter how much they are going to ruin the shot.
6. Crew members typically don’t listen when asked to be quiet while filming. If they want to talk, they will talk. Another thing to “accept.”
7. You will be talked down to. You will be yelled at for what you think there is no apparent reason.
8. Humility is the key to everything you do.
9. Write everything down even if you think you have the best memory in the world (I have a TERRIBLE memory and I still don’t write everything down. Bad for me).
10. Love your job. You will know within a few hours whether you want to be in this business. If you don’t love it, then move on, because it will make you miserable just like any other job.

The Surreal Day

Over the last few days I have been trying to think of something cohesive and interesting to write about. Usually during my workday I think of something that would be funny about working in the film industry, but then I usually forget about it later (write things down, write things down!). Anyway, the past week has been pretty easy since the “firing.” We shot a lot that incorporated minor characters or “day players” as they are known in the industry (because they are only in the film for only a few days of shooting). Thursday was a full day because we had to have a “company move” which is always a little daunting with such a big production. A “company move” occurs when you are shooting in two different locations on the same day, and all of the trucks and campers need to be moved. Our company move occurred at 5pm in lower Manhattan so it of course took awhile. Overall, things went smoothly and our day before the holiday weekend ended at around 1230am. (We all were thinking we would go until at least 2am but that was mainly because the crew has become quite pessimistic about getting out early before the weekends).

Other than that, I can only tell you bits and pieces of other things that might be of interest. Thursday night I bought a cup of decaf from the neighborhood Starbucks, and the actor I bought it for said it was awful. The actor is one of the few that I really like being around and he thought it would be fun to go back to the Starbucks and complain in a good-natured way. So we go in, no one else is there besides two kids behind the counter, and the actor starts chatting away about how bad the coffee was. The kid behind the counter makes him a free decaf espresso (I was sure these guys didn’t know who the actor was but I was wrong when I heard one of them say the name near the end of out visit) and while making the espresso, Bob Marley comes on over the speakers. This leads the actor to start dancing and singing to Bob Marley as well as talking to the kid behind the counter about going to the Bermuda in the 70’s and hearing the same great music. You could tell that the kids were having a great time, as was I, but the fun had to end since everyone was waiting for us on set.

Like I said, it’s a quick story, but it makes my job a little more surreal every time something like that happens. I mean, this actor has won an Oscar, he is pretty famous, and I’m standing there next to him as he dances around a Starbucks to the beat of Bob Marley on a random Thursday night.

On a completely off topic note, I wanted to wish a happy birthday to Thatkidinthecorner. Although it is tax day across the country, I still say the Thatkid’s birthday is much more significant. The American public might disagree, but what do I care what they think?

Next post: Terms of the industry and things that can drive a production assistant crazy.

Adios Senor/Senorita

So someone got fired today. This doesn’t usually happen. This is the thing that tabloids usually create to sell more tabloids (but are usually never true). From the beginning of the day, the situation was tense. For the past week and a half the actor/actress has NOT been getting along well with the director. Actually, he/she has not been getting along with almost everyone. I do concede that the person did become much, much better after a few days, it was all a disaster waiting to happen.

Last week, I personally had a hellish time accommodating the actor’s very specific dietary requirements. We are not shooting in Manhattan, which means my usual array of restaurants, markets, and corner deli’s on every block are not at my disposal. Eventually I settled on having a driver go into the city and pick up and order that would easily take an hour to get back to us.

Ok, ok back to the story. This morning, while the actor is in hair/make-up, the director approaches me and asks when he/she will be available. I say about an hour, he says that he wants to see the actor in his trailer. After an hour, the actor runs to his trailer but he doesn’t answer. He doesn’t answer because he is asleep. Here is where the fun starts. Now, I have to call his assistant on the walkie-talkie so that she can then call him so that he can then call her back so that she can then tell me on the walkie-talkie that the actor can now come to his trailer. Make sense? Completely retarculous? Yes, yes it is. The director finally wakes up and then makes the actor wait. (This is all an ego game, as is most of what I deal with. Who can make who wait longer, who can be the last one to set, blah, blah, blah). And now we have it, the meeting. The actor goes in, and this is the fun part.

Shouting. Aaaaaand some more shouting. Doors slamming. Screaming in my general direction about getting the executive producer downstairs immediately. This is the point where I calmly get on the walkie (at least that’s how I’m telling it. Others on the crew say I sounded a wee bit tense) and ask for some help from the producer. The following three hours ensue with more shouting, cursing, the smoking of many cigarettes by said executive producer and the director, and the actor’s boyfriend/girlfriend arriving to take them home.

Finally, before the actor leaves, the director asks me a few more questions. One of which is how are they doing. Another asks what is going on in their trailer. And last but not least, after I say that things are obviously not the best, he tells ME to tell the actor to go home. He told ME to say that. Go tell them yourself! Who the heck am I?? Certainly not the person who is going to tell anyone that they are fired from the set and to get the hell out.

Next up: Who gets cast now? How much time did we lose from the scenes we already shot with the fired actor? (I say we add at least 5 more days. At least.)

I also know I have not been posting much and for this I am sorry. I need to try harder. I’m not that busy.